Let me just say, this is not going to be an easy, or a comfortable post. That, though, is probably THE problem! Last evening I was having a conversation with a wonderful friend on Skype. This friend is on the opposite spectrum as me in terms of her weight, and health. She is quite thin, but still possibly struggles with her heathi-ness. She was showing me a book that she's working through, and the conversation went quite well, I thought. Later on, though, she did message me on Facebook to apologize for what may have turned into an awkward conversation.
I would love to share with you my thoughts on a few things. First of all, no one likes to hear that they are fat. It hurts. When I was in Korea and the kids AND their parents called me a pig, yeah, it hurt. Then, when perfect strangers came up to me to tell me I should be walking and exercising, or the coffee shop owner telling me that I don't need the hot chocolate I ordered, I tended to get quite angry. Eventually, though, my focus shifted. I stopped thinking that I was being attacked, and realized that maybe I should be open to a conversation, maybe. Of course, it all depended on how the approach was done.
There are many different diseases that can be caused by morbid obesity. Heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, Cancers, High Blood Pressure, Stroke, etc. Yes, there are many. Sadly, no one really thinks too much about these, well, they do, but still, if the problem is addressed, then all that one worries about is someone's feelings. My feelings may be hurt, if you talk to me about my weight issues. So, please don't talk to me about what could eventually cause my death, right? Nooooo.... Even my husband, while we've come leaps and bounds from him being afraid to say anything to me, for fear of hurting me, to him feeling okay discussing this with me, gets uncomfortable.
According to some statistics, America is more than 1/3 obese! Canada is following closely behind that. Clearly, that is a problem. WE HAVE A PROBLEM! In this society, if someone has a drug addiction or have become alcoholics, then the family can stage an intervention, and try to get the people help. In the case of morbid obesity, though, there's not often a lot of help offered. If there are some suggestions made, sadly, they are often hurtful comments, like, "You don't need that!" or like I heard someone say to a co-worker, "If you eat that muffin, it's going to add 5 pounds to your hips!" The support is not always available for people like me.
Don't get me wrong. I know my family supports me. They are more than willing to help me in any way possible, to listen to me, and talk my situation over with me. My sister and I have done some challenges, and she's kicked butt, actually losing about 80 pounds in the last year. She tried the tough love with me, but all it did was stress me out terribly, and cause a lot of friction.
So, what's next? I am not sure. What I would like to suggest is that we open up the lines of communication. Help people feel comfortable speaking with you about your weight issues. If you knew someone was very ill from cancer, or heart disease, you'd probably offer up your support, and prayers and ask them how they're doing. When we see someone dying a slow death from morbid obesity, though, we avoid the topic. We don't want to bring it up. Instead of avoidance, though, I suggest we talk about it. Everyone has some different ideas about what may work, or what may not, and if we are of the morbid obese group, then we need to stop taking these things so personally, and just address the issue, because clearly there is one.
These last few weeks I've been watching the lastest season of The Biggest Loser. I didn't watch it when it was on, but have just been watching it recently. This last season was the "No Excuses" season, and I must say, many of this group have been driving me nuts! I am not sure if the editing is working around the excuses and trying to make them more real, but many of the contestants are just whiny, and have been very irritating. I do know who won, and I'm happy to say that Jeremy was pretty freakin' awesome throughout the whole season, but the others, wow. It's a new experience for me, I guess. I would hope that if I had that opportunity that they have, then I'd do all that I can to really rock it out and to stop making excuses and whining.
Okay, so, here we go. Be open to the conversation. If you have something to say to me, please do so. I am open to the talk. If you are thin, but feel like you have to lose weight, I don't begrudge you your excess weight, because I know that any extra weight is hard on your body, and I know your story is your own. If you are also struggling to lose weight, then let's chat it out, and really try to support each other. This is a battle, and we can all overcome it!
I would love to share with you my thoughts on a few things. First of all, no one likes to hear that they are fat. It hurts. When I was in Korea and the kids AND their parents called me a pig, yeah, it hurt. Then, when perfect strangers came up to me to tell me I should be walking and exercising, or the coffee shop owner telling me that I don't need the hot chocolate I ordered, I tended to get quite angry. Eventually, though, my focus shifted. I stopped thinking that I was being attacked, and realized that maybe I should be open to a conversation, maybe. Of course, it all depended on how the approach was done.
There are many different diseases that can be caused by morbid obesity. Heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, Cancers, High Blood Pressure, Stroke, etc. Yes, there are many. Sadly, no one really thinks too much about these, well, they do, but still, if the problem is addressed, then all that one worries about is someone's feelings. My feelings may be hurt, if you talk to me about my weight issues. So, please don't talk to me about what could eventually cause my death, right? Nooooo.... Even my husband, while we've come leaps and bounds from him being afraid to say anything to me, for fear of hurting me, to him feeling okay discussing this with me, gets uncomfortable.
According to some statistics, America is more than 1/3 obese! Canada is following closely behind that. Clearly, that is a problem. WE HAVE A PROBLEM! In this society, if someone has a drug addiction or have become alcoholics, then the family can stage an intervention, and try to get the people help. In the case of morbid obesity, though, there's not often a lot of help offered. If there are some suggestions made, sadly, they are often hurtful comments, like, "You don't need that!" or like I heard someone say to a co-worker, "If you eat that muffin, it's going to add 5 pounds to your hips!" The support is not always available for people like me.
Don't get me wrong. I know my family supports me. They are more than willing to help me in any way possible, to listen to me, and talk my situation over with me. My sister and I have done some challenges, and she's kicked butt, actually losing about 80 pounds in the last year. She tried the tough love with me, but all it did was stress me out terribly, and cause a lot of friction.
So, what's next? I am not sure. What I would like to suggest is that we open up the lines of communication. Help people feel comfortable speaking with you about your weight issues. If you knew someone was very ill from cancer, or heart disease, you'd probably offer up your support, and prayers and ask them how they're doing. When we see someone dying a slow death from morbid obesity, though, we avoid the topic. We don't want to bring it up. Instead of avoidance, though, I suggest we talk about it. Everyone has some different ideas about what may work, or what may not, and if we are of the morbid obese group, then we need to stop taking these things so personally, and just address the issue, because clearly there is one.
These last few weeks I've been watching the lastest season of The Biggest Loser. I didn't watch it when it was on, but have just been watching it recently. This last season was the "No Excuses" season, and I must say, many of this group have been driving me nuts! I am not sure if the editing is working around the excuses and trying to make them more real, but many of the contestants are just whiny, and have been very irritating. I do know who won, and I'm happy to say that Jeremy was pretty freakin' awesome throughout the whole season, but the others, wow. It's a new experience for me, I guess. I would hope that if I had that opportunity that they have, then I'd do all that I can to really rock it out and to stop making excuses and whining.
Okay, so, here we go. Be open to the conversation. If you have something to say to me, please do so. I am open to the talk. If you are thin, but feel like you have to lose weight, I don't begrudge you your excess weight, because I know that any extra weight is hard on your body, and I know your story is your own. If you are also struggling to lose weight, then let's chat it out, and really try to support each other. This is a battle, and we can all overcome it!
Let's NOT make this be our future... We can overcome, if we keep the lines of communication, support and kindness open!
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