It's been a challenge little while for me. I mentioned in my first entry that I feel as though I should appreciate the opportunity to stay home, rest, and take care of myself, but did not really explain why. I knew once I came home I needed to see a doctor as soon as possible, to get my knees taken care of. They have been in bad shape since the beginning of the year, and I was anxious to have a doctor at home take a look to get more information on what the problem may be.
Well, I visited the doctor, and then had blood work and x-rays done, and have been diagnosed with osteo-arthritis. My initial reaction to this news was tears, frustration, sadness and fear. Of course, the main solution, prescription, and suggestion to make the pain less is to lose weight. The extra 200 or so pounds that I have is not helping me at all with this knee situation.
Also, when applying for work, it is tough to start out by saying that I am not able to work in a job where I cannot stand for extended periods. Many positions that are available are for jobs in which one is expected to stand. This is another reason why getting a job is tough at this point.
Yes, this is one of my challenges. There's also the challenge of depression that just sneaks up on me, as well as paranoid thoughts, and all that goes with that. I just get so worked up at times, and am sad that I have caused stress for my parents and family, in terms of having us live with them, and in trying to pay back my father's friend who gave us the money to pay for my plane ticket home. There is some tension there for me, and it's starting to take it's toll.
So, really, rather than do what I need to do, and lose weight, in the two months that I've been home, I've actually gained weight. It's not good.
Don't worry, this isn't going to be a weight loss blog, or a whinge and complain blog. It will be an honest one, though, where I may share my struggles for the day, or the great experiences I had. For tonight, I was upset, a few things came together to really get me worked up, but as I was reading my Bible, I realized that, I need to stop worrying. A few key verses really stood out to me.
'You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. If you cannot do even the little things, then why worry about the big things?' Luke 12:25-26
'Don't always think about what you will eat or what you will drink, and don't keep worrying. All the people in the world are trying to get these things, and your Father knows you need them. But seek God's kingdom, and all your other needs will be met as well.' Luke 12:29-31
God is good, and He is always reminding me to trust that He will take care of these things, I just need to stop worrying, and to have faith in His abilities. I can do it. I know that things will get better.
Hopefully, it will all start with a nice walk tomorrow morning!!
Good night!
Well, I visited the doctor, and then had blood work and x-rays done, and have been diagnosed with osteo-arthritis. My initial reaction to this news was tears, frustration, sadness and fear. Of course, the main solution, prescription, and suggestion to make the pain less is to lose weight. The extra 200 or so pounds that I have is not helping me at all with this knee situation.
Also, when applying for work, it is tough to start out by saying that I am not able to work in a job where I cannot stand for extended periods. Many positions that are available are for jobs in which one is expected to stand. This is another reason why getting a job is tough at this point.
Yes, this is one of my challenges. There's also the challenge of depression that just sneaks up on me, as well as paranoid thoughts, and all that goes with that. I just get so worked up at times, and am sad that I have caused stress for my parents and family, in terms of having us live with them, and in trying to pay back my father's friend who gave us the money to pay for my plane ticket home. There is some tension there for me, and it's starting to take it's toll.
So, really, rather than do what I need to do, and lose weight, in the two months that I've been home, I've actually gained weight. It's not good.
Don't worry, this isn't going to be a weight loss blog, or a whinge and complain blog. It will be an honest one, though, where I may share my struggles for the day, or the great experiences I had. For tonight, I was upset, a few things came together to really get me worked up, but as I was reading my Bible, I realized that, I need to stop worrying. A few key verses really stood out to me.
'You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. If you cannot do even the little things, then why worry about the big things?' Luke 12:25-26
'Don't always think about what you will eat or what you will drink, and don't keep worrying. All the people in the world are trying to get these things, and your Father knows you need them. But seek God's kingdom, and all your other needs will be met as well.' Luke 12:29-31
God is good, and He is always reminding me to trust that He will take care of these things, I just need to stop worrying, and to have faith in His abilities. I can do it. I know that things will get better.
Hopefully, it will all start with a nice walk tomorrow morning!!
Good night!
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